I had heard he was on the guest list: the cheese man. It was a fancy dinner party constructed around a set of expensive wines, finished off with a cheese platter. I was parceling out the salads when he rushed in out of the rain: a large guy carrying a paper bag, which he plopped on the kitchen table.
It was, naturally, an excellent selection, but I can only recall the equally excellent camembert which, in a rushed evening, was the only time saver: let it sit at room temp, slice off the top, stick in a spoon and serve. No precise portioning needed; like a steamed lobster, a camembert wheel is a self-contained unit, to be served as is.
The most important rule of cheese plate construction is mild to soft i.e. begin with a chevre and finish with a Roquefort. Opening a cheese plate with a pungent washed rind cheese like munster or taleggio, is like having a cigar before your soup. The taste is ruined.
Small portions is the only other rule; a little goes a long way. There’s nothing worse than staring at an enormous boulder of cheese; it takes me back to my days in the summer camp canteen scooping mayo from enormous tubs. Serve cleanly cut, reasonable wedges or-in the case of a hard cheese such as Parmesan-broken pieces.
Serve the cheese with a pile of plain crackers or crusty bread (my favorite), and one tangy element such as quince paste or some kind of fruit compote. But the cheese is the thing, which is why strewing the platter with nuts and dried fruit seems a pointless exercise.
We chose this condiment because it is both interesting and a snap to make. All you have to do is add the ingredients to a pot and simmer till dry. Because the highlight is mustard seed rather than raisins, it’s a welcome shift from the dried fruit obsession.
As for what cheeses to use, you have to taste. Find what you like and play around. A great reference book is Cheese by Max McCalman and David Gibbons. A variety of Robiolas, Roquefort, Montgomery Cheddar, and Hoch YBrig are especially succulent.
Or just flip open a wheel of Epoisses and start the spooning.
Mustard Seed Compote (from Anita Lo’s Cooking Without Borders)
Serves 4
¼ cup mustard seeds
1 tablespoon sugar
3 tablespoons raisins
white wine vinegar
1. Combine the first three ingredients in a small pot. Add vinegar just to cover. Bring to a simmer and cook until dry. Serve with a soft, opened Epoisses.
