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I’m standing on a chair stuffing our now empty suitcases into their spot on the closet shelf. We’re back from a week in Anguilla, which we spent mostly by the pool with our son, drinking Red Stripe and wine, and banana shakes for the boy.
Anguilla is a half-hour motorboat ride from St. Maarten. Half of St. Maarten is Times Square with casinos. At night it glows in neon, and tourists swarm the streets. The other half, Marigot, is a French settlement, a remnant of colonial times, and it feels very much like a relic: rust, fish soup, beer, cigarettes, displaced souls.
Anguilla, on the other hand, is quiet, clean, crime-free, and touristy in an understated, undeveloped sense of the word. The water is calm and clear blue, the air is soft and still, and the stars are bright. In other words, I’d rather be there than freezing my ass off in 20-degree weather drinking coffee outside my beloved Starbucks, where the tourists have hogged all the tables, hovering over super-sized maps of the city.
The food in Anguilla, however, is unsurprisingly lousy. Unsurprising because I’ve yet to find decent island food, an explainable yet, in my view, easily solved state of affairs. With some exceptions, Caribbean chefs cook in a vacuum, as if pad-locked in a kitchen with little sense of their surroundings. The result is duck ravioli, “local Caribbean spring rolls”, braised lamb, pastas with cream sauce, and so on. And the ubiquitous Caribbean lobster-priced as its cousin from Maine-a spiny, nubbly creature usually served halved and grilled, its tail meat chewy and bland, a cross between overcooked shrimp and overcooked crayfish.
(The lionfish, a small, brightly colored fish, a newcomer, which haunts these waters, has yet to turn up on menus. A hurricane freed it from a Miami aquarium, and it swam its way down around Anguilla, where, with its paralyzing sting, has climbed to the top of the food chain.)
Once more, my theory-oriented brain has crystallized a reason for the dim culinary situation down there. Hotels and restaurants cling to the mantra that tourists pang for fancy food. Forget the beaches, booze, and sun…the true motive for dumping all this cash to shuffle through customs, fly with a 2-year-old, more customs, multiple taxis, motor across the sea, more customs, more taxis…is to savor the world’s finest fare.
This isn’t a Roman holiday: we’re not strolling winding streets in search of truffled pastas. Give us something that befits a person who’s spent the day lying like a lox by the pool, frying unhealthily in the sun. Maybe a salad, or a local fish, grilled. At home, it’s 20 degrees. I spend the day cursing the weather. A stew fits the bill. When it’s 85, I’d rather avoid a braised lamb shank with a side of potatoes au gratin.
Of course, I shouldn’t complain. It’s nice to be able to get some sun in the middle of winter. But I’m always around for suggestions. That’s the kind of guy I am.
I have been struggling to figure out which hotel your first photo depicts. I have come to the conclusion that, out of courtesy, you selected a photo of a hotel that is not Anguillian at all.
IDM
Good comment, but we love Anguilla and only go to that island, so yes it is Anguilla-Cuisinart.
I don’t pretend to be a professional foodie or food critic, but, I know my way around a kitchen. We’ve been traveling to Anguilla for 13 years. We’ve never been the type to drop $200 for a meal. The more you pay, the less you get, and more importantly, $$ and quality don’t necessarily go hand in hand. We’ve found the smaller local places and the bbq shacks provide us with what we need. The locals and other vacationers we meet at these places are what we enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had some outstanding meals at the upper end places, but, we’ve had a lot more fun at the local restaurants that get it. “It” being good food at reasonable prices will bring you repeat business. High end, fussy restaurants run a huge risk of failing to deliver and by the next season they’re either gone or a new chef has taken over. Just get yourself a cold Heineken, some ribs and slaw, and call it good way to spend a day!
Agree wholeheartedly. We have been to some local places. I should have mentioned that. Some of them are okay. We ended up going to Picante, the Mexican joint, several times, which stands out.
You need to get out a bit and eat where we Anguillians eat. Try the Roti Hut in George Hill, maybe Kenny’s BBQ which is on the side of the road in Sandy Ground on Friday and Saturday evenings. The Valley on Saturday’s is chock-full of BBQ stands, soup stalls (Conch, Oxtail, Whelk soup) Roast corn – all local fare. Even some of the bakeries like Hall’s in the Valley do excellent local sandwiches and the breakfast patties (saltfish and king fish) are to die for. Also – do yourself a favor and rent a car if you’re going to do some serious driving around the island. The taxi’s are overpriced and out of control. Also, if you want some restaurant food thats not from a Resort, try Koal Keel. I’ve never had a bad meal there.
gotcha-next time will do-we still love Anguilla!